If you’re anything like me you’re constantly surrounded by idiots and hate everything. Now there’s a shirt for us! Don’t even waste your breath telling people to fuck off. Let your shirt do the talking for you. Be passive aggressive in this “Hey Fuck You” shirt for only 75 CNY (12 USD).
LUXURIOUS+ is your one stop shop for ugly glasses. Bunny glasses? Yep! Happy Birthday glasses? They’ve got them! Rainbow glasses? Fuck yeah! Ridiculously oversized glasses? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK. At 16 CNY (that’s 3 USD per pair), just buy them all.
There are few things scarier in the world of Chinese cartoons than the ever-present, insanely popular Xi Yang Yang. That is, until you see one up close and personal. Now you can get your very own Xi Yang Yang costume and delight children and terrify adults, for only 339RMB plus shipping!
This isn’t just because we’re more than slightly obsessed with Sherlock… But what I want to know is: are they actually handcuffs? Where’s the key? They just look like rings to me, which might be cute but… there’s no photos! For 9999RMB, you should at least have more than one photo…
If you want to know what it’s like to crush a cute cartoon character, just sit on this chair cover! We’re pretty sure it’ll give your kids nightmares, or maybe just give you the creeps, but hey, its head looks like a melting ice cream. What’s not to love? It’s a steal at just 25RMB, imported from Japan.
Ever wanted to take a nap in one of the most terrifying and claustrophobic spaces possible? Try the newest sensory-depriving product on the market, The Nap Hood. Perfect for the office or home!
*Note: We didn’t actually find this on Taobao, but damn it’s the sort of thing that belongs there.
It’s time for another item from my favorite taobao vendor! Here’s a creative take on a pineapple upside-down cake from the “Kent’s Drawings” series. Design No. 24 is titled “Happy birthday… NOW DIE!!!!” and features a demonic birthday cake chasing his maker with a fork. Shirt somes in a variety of sizes for 45 CYN (about 7 USD).
I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous iPhone accessories in China but this is definitely the largest. There’s a plush for all tastes - Stitch, Doraemon, Hello Kitty, rabbit wearing clothes, some other cat… you get the picture. Imported from Korea at 108 CNY (about 17 USD), the price isn’t bad! That is, if you don’t mind carrying a stuffed animal around with you all the time or being required to operate your phone with both hands.
You have no idea how long I have been wanting to post this. Presenting my favorite taobao item, the “snail with abs” t-shirt. This comes from an amazing line of t-shirts called “Kent’s Drawings.” I assure you, every t-shirt in this collection is a gem. 45 RMB or 7 USD in both men’s and women’s sizes!
You’ll have to be prepared to bear the consequences of wearing these shoes! These cute bear claw shoes are made in the style of the ever-popular crocs, but with a little extra to love! Claw your way to the top of your fashionista ring in a pair of these reasonably-priced shoes! For just 26RMB (US$4.00), they’re a steal! And they come in four trendy colors: pink, yellow, black and the traditional brown. Get yours while you can!
